Yes, as sad as it is, Marcellus Crutchley has died of natural causes this July 18th, he was 199 years old. He was born on November 24th of 1810. He was an infamous biologist. He did much research on the animals we dissect now, like frogs and more common body parts of some animals, sheep eyes, cow eyes, etc. He didn't want to be famous, he told us on his birthday last year, when we interviewed him for being the oldest living person in the world.
But he told us an interesting fact, that he was working on an ever lasting life concotion of some sort that would make him live forever. Yes, it sounds like a fairytale, but it was true, he showed us the bottle that contained the mixture.
His only living relative is his great-great-great granddaughter. We asked her how she felt about her great-great-great grandfather passing.
"Actually, I am kind of relieved. This sounds bad, but I mean for the last 10 years, I have been waiting for him to die. He was a burden to take care of because you can't really take care of an almost dead guy. The only thing he really could do on his own was write and talk. No, he couldn't even use the bathroom by himself. Yes, I know I should be sad that my ancestor is dead, but I mean, really? He lived a very full life, and the only thing I wish was that he could have lived for one more year, he was almost 200! He couldn't have held on for a few more months?"
Is there anything you didn't like about him?
"He was always working on that little potion thing, like a little kid. Except his looked legit. He was adding for real chemicals on it. Finally I took it away from him because I thought it was going to blow up the house. He said he wasn't done with it, and I threw it away, dumped it's contents in the sink and threw the vial in the trash. I'm not sorry I did it. If he would have drank it he would have died sooner than he did."
So the world will mourn his loss as an unfinished life, living nearly twice as long as the normal life expectancy.
Almost 200 years. A world record that will not be broken for a long time.
Thanks for reading,
Delaney
P.S. Ha ha! This was a funny story to write
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