Seeing the Positives

I would like to consider myself to be an optimistic person. I always want to see the good outweigh the bad, try to make something positive out of something bad. But sometimes, everything just goes wrong, and I just have a bad day, or week or month or however long
Such as this week. This week has sucked.
A lot.
Tuesday evening my great-grandmother died. She was 94. I don't know how other families are, but we were very close with her. Our family is tight knit as it is, and everything we did was centered around whether or not my great-grandma could come with us.
She was in a nursing home because she could no longer take care of herself in her own home. So everyday someone made the trip out to visit her, she couldn't remember a lot, not events or the days of the week, but she remembered us. She never forgot who anyone was.
In December we had her birthday party. We made her cake and had balloons all set up in the party room of the nursing home. And we celebrated for a while before she stopped and in confusion she asked whose birthday it was, she didn't know who she was supposed to get a gift for. And we all laughed and reminded her it was her birthday. Her 94th birthday.
And two weeks ago, we were up at my grandma's house watching the Superbowl, and we had busted her out of the home to come and watch it with us. We let her sit in the big soft chair and would periodically ask her if she needed anything. And she never did. She was never hungry, but we'd fix her a plate to eat anyways, and she'd never eat it. She only ever wanted tomato soup, if that.
That was two weeks ago.
One week ago she was in her room in the nursing home, as alive as she'd always been. But Sunday she got pneumonia and was taken to the hospital by ambulance in the middle of the night. Tuesday my mom left work during the day to go visit her, and she didn't come home until Wednesday. Kidney failure, evidently is what finally got her.
I mean, really, she was 94, and her immune system had had enough. It just quit on her.
And the funeral was today; my grandma has had everything planned out for awhile, the funeral home, the casket, the money, the service itself. It had been planned out already.
So it was smooth, no kinks, no obstacles. All of the family I never knew came, and we all celebrated her life.

It wasn't as horribly sad as I thought it would be. She was old, we knew it was coming, and we knew she wasn't happy. She didn't want to be in a nursing home, she needed a walker, and she had a lot of health problems. It wasn't the life she would have wanted to live.
So in a way, it's not so bad, she's in a better place now. Of course we'll miss her, but she's better off where she is now.
I try to look at it that way so I don't feel so sad about it. It's a very negative thing, but I suppose a positive thing came out of it.

Which is how I want to be able to see things. I've had a pretty crap week, with that, and a few other things sprinkled here and there that have made me mad or sad. And I've been in a pretty off mood for the last few days, but when I decided it didn't have to be all bad that she died, I instantly felt a little better. Seeing the positives makes me a happier person, because I try to see the little bit of good that came out of it.
And I'm not upset about anything very often, and it never lasts more than a few days, because frankly, I'm tired of being sad and complainy and self pitying.
So I'm going to stop.
Delaney